Chinese space programme protocol prevents pongs in the shuttle

If only the rules that apply to wannabe Chinese astronauts going onto the space shuttle could apply for the passengers allowed in your car. Sick of the bad smells that are delivered with a smug little chuckle and the resounding stench of beer that lingers in my car every time I give my partner a lift home from the pub, I feel I should apply the same rules to any men that wish to grab a lift in my car.

Astronauts competing for China's space programme must comply with a strict list of 100 personal hygiene regulations. No one with bad breath, bad body odour or bad teeth will be allowed to go onto the shuttle – rules that should definitely be made standard policy for passengers in my car.
Intended to recruit "super human beings", the regulations also prevent anyone with a runny nose from going into space, no doubt to prevent the annoying sniff of the hanky-less passenger that you are destined to get on a long car or bus journey.

Another marvellous thing about the Chinese space programme protocol is that astronauts are only allowed to enter the regime with their wife's full permission. However, I don't see this happening in every day life. Having your partner ask permission every time he wants to hit the pub or change the channel to the footie is perhaps asking a bit too much.

Successful candidates must also possess a "pleasant and adaptable disposition", another great regulation that should definitely apply to passengers catching a lift in your car.

# posted by Fuse @ 2:45 AM