The work of the green-eyed monster

Envy is a powerful thing. When I was thirteen my best friend used to tell me proudly how she “never, ever felt envy for anyone”.

What was peculiar about her declaration was that it was made with both incredible frequency and unnerving emphasis.

But it’s biggest effect on me, strangely, was that it seemed to make me incredibly envious of her, whether it was the advertising-cool junk food in her lunchbox, the rising hem of her skirt, the shine of her lip gloss or her superior ease with boys, particularly Stuart Miller.

So when one Halloween night, someone prolifically “keyed” my dad’s new Mondeo and put dog’s doo in our family letter box, I never suspected Danielle.

As you can imagine, it was quite a shock when a couple of her accomplices allowed the truth to get out. But it was also a catharsis – she finally admitted her envy for my stable home life and my academic success, saying that she’d even repressed this knowledge of her envy from herself. Fortunately the confession also came just in time to prevent my dad from making a car insurance claim – allowing Danielle’s dad to make reparation himself.

My bet is that Danielle would be able to understand the mentality of the man who has recently been arrested in Berlin, Germany. Apparently, he’s confessed to police that over the months since June he has set fire to around 70 luxury cars, including Audis, BMWs and Mercedes.

And his motivation? According to police, it is “not politics, but social envy”. Reportedly, he told them, “I've got debts, my life stinks and others with fancy cars are better off and they deserve this.”

Perhaps this confession is the key to him recognising his envy as the pernicious force it is and at last moving on.

And, maybe, just maybe I should take this as an opportunity to confess my role in ensuring Danielle never received a single letter from the lovesick Stuart Miller, or maybe not…

Labels: car insurance, Mondeo