I can't remember buying the first one, but I quickly discovered that unless my phone was of a clam shell design I would be making all sorts of transgressional phone calls from my back pocket, so avoided the traditional shape from a fairly early stage. My second phone purchase was natty silver clam and when you opened it, it emitted a "swoosh" sound just like the communicators used in retro star trek shows - a la Captain Kirk and Sulu.

Labels: 3G, Captain Kirk, mobile phone

# posted by Fuse @ 1:19 AM 0 Comments

Be not alarmed, women drivers, on reading this blog, by its abysmal attempts at literary parody, nor by the strange news here related.

You may possibly wonder what this is all about; fortunately, I, myself, as the master of this blog am in a position to be able to reveal to you what has brought about this unusual, effortful and strangely sub-clause-rich mock-letter.

In short, it is the revelation, brought to my attention by a news source no less grave and reliable than that provided by the British Broadcasting Corporation, that Pride and Prejudice, known to all as a masterpiece of 17th century literature, is being re-worked, as an adaptation of a contemporary novel - indeed, a parodic bestseller - into a film that will be known as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Whether I will condescend to adopt to enjoying the measures of this art, I am undecided. I understand the genre of parody and think it unlikely that this film will be faithful to every event of the original narrative; but, should such a genre agree with your inclination, I see no reason why it might not be enjoyed as a bit of good fun.

However, if the idea arouses in you feelings of abhorrence and seems close to sacrilege; pray, stay away from crowded multiplexes this coming summer, lest the film should offend you and disturb your delicate sensibility.

I must now mention that I have, after all, decided that I will endeavour to see the film; it will star Natalie Portman, a fine actress and a most respectable lady. I will only add that she's exceedingly fit, innit.

God bless you.

Image © blakespot via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

# posted by Fuse @ 1:26 AM 0 Comments

I learned to drive in my mum's Rover Metro and my driving instructor had a Ford Fiesta - not exactly luxurious cars, but they did the job.

However, if you're Paris Hilton's little brother you might expect a bit more from your first car, and Daddy Hilton did not disappoint.

Yes, 15-year-old Conrad Hilton III was let loose in a $200,000 Bentley, albeit with his dad by his side ready to grab the steering wheel, as he took to the streets of Beverly Hills for a quick driving lesson.

Still, when you've got an estimated fortune of $300 million sitting in the bank, as hotel magnate Richard Hilton is reputed to have, then the odd dent in your Bentley is not much to worry about now is it?

And I'm sure the father of five hopes his youngest heir will fare better on the roads than his older sister who ended up spending 23 days in prison, in June 2007, after an arrest for drink-driving.

Good luck Conrad - the lenses of the world's press are upon you.

Image © stuckinseoul, via flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

Labels: Bentley, first car, Ford, Paris Hilton

# posted by Fuse @ 5:36 AM 0 Comments

After fronting L'Oreal's TV commercials and becoming the latest "Because I'm worth it girl", you would have thought the people at L'Oreal would have chosen a celeb whose curls are actually their own.

But the news that Cheryl Cole's radiant and shining locks are actually extensions adds a slight touch of irony to the advert -- how can someone with fake hair promote a shampoo brand?

With stars such as Beyonce, Eva Longoria and Penelope Cruz also in the line up to be L'Oreal girls, Cole is unlikely to be the only one guilty of not having her own hair.

While a tiny disclaimer does flash up during the advert for about two seconds revealing that her hair is styled with hair extensions, it still seems very deceitful using someone with fake hair to pull in more customers. I think I shall be sticking to the Herbal stuff instead.

# posted by Fuse @ 1:38 AM 0 Comments

Sorry, but this is a sadblog.

The world's oldest woman has died at the grand old age of 119.

Ana Maria Perez died in hospital in Mexico from pneumonia, a Government spokesperson announced.

Sadly for Ana, she was never properly recognised as the world record holder because, despite holding a bona fide birth certificate stating her date of birth as 22nd June 1890, local officials had been unable to raise the necessary funds to facilitate the visit of a Guinness World Records' representative who could authenticate the entry.

Ana first came to the attention of Colima State's Institute for Attention to the Elderly when their representatives were visiting her 77-year-old granddaughter who needed their help. When the elderly woman told them she had a live grandmother the personnel were shocked and decided to search her out.

Despite not receiving the record breaker's title, the centenarian did get a visit from Mexico's President, Felipe Calderon who recognised her special age last year.

The reigning oldest person in the world, as recognised by Guinness, is Japan's Kama Chinen, 114, who received the title after Gertrude Baines from the US died in September. She was 115.

Image © Rob Lee via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

# posted by Fuse @ 8:21 AM 0 Comments