Tuesday, May 31, 2011

 

Love me, love Marmite. Hate Marmite, hate me.

I once had a boyfriend who hated Marmite so much that he said he couldn’t look at me while I was eating it. In fact, as he would refuse to kiss me goodbye as I left for work in the mornings, citing Marmite breath, it could be said that his distaste for the sticky brown stuff actually contributed to the decline of our relationship.

In the days when I could still find his every word funny or fascinating I once laughed when he said over breakfast one morning that if ever he became Prime Minister the first thing he’d do would be to introduce a ban on Marmite. You’ll never go into politics, I thought, you’re not boring enough.

Well, within a couple of years he had managed to disillusion me and become completely bland and colourless, so perhaps he has gone into politics after all, although surprisingly it must have been in Denmark. I deduce this because it has emerged that the country has banned Marmite from its nation’s shelves on the grounds that it contains added Vitamins.

Love it or hate it, a ban seems wrong, doesn’t it?

Up until now I’ve only ever said I’ll never holiday in places where I can’t get adequate woman driver insurance – I like the freedom and adventure of being able to drive a car when I’m on holiday – but I certainly won’t be going on holiday in Denmark until the ban is reversed – I just don’t feel right in the mornings if I haven’t had a marmite bagel for breakfast and I’m not prepared to endure a custodial sentence for international marmite smuggling crimes.

Image © geishaboy500 via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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Friday, May 27, 2011

 

Severe weather warning for drivers

Following the deaths of a young woman driver in Hexham, Northumberland and a 36-year-old man from Scotland, motorists are being warned that high winds can cause extremely dangerous driving conditions.

Both drivers died when trees fell onto their cars during the unusually high winds for the time.

Meteorologists said that parts of Scotland had suffered gusts of up to 114 mph in the storms, while gusts of around 65mph were felt in Yorkshire.

Michael Dukes, Forecast Manager for Meteogroup, said, “The high winds that have been battering Scotland, Ireland and the far north of England today are about as strong as you ever get in late May.

"These wind speeds would be noteworthy in midwinter, but for them to occur in late spring is really most unusual.

"Indeed, with trees in full leaf, winds of this strength can cause a great deal of problems as trees can be more readily toppled."

And I have to say that as I drove my little Fiat down the leafy lanes along the South Coast recently I did wonder how safe it was to be driving under the bending boughs which seemed so noisy above me.

So, our advice is, if it’s windy out, don’t drive unless you have to, and if your journey is urgent, be aware of overhanging trees – maybe plan a route which does not go through forested areas, or at the very least be vigilant when driving under trees in high winds.

Stay safe whenever you drive – weather kills!


Image © James Fraleigh via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

 

It’s 30mph for a reason

A recent joke by pranksters in Bradford has left motorists and road authorities very angry, and could have lead to a serious accident.

A fake 40mph sign was put in a 30mph zone, just before a speed camera, so, some unfortunate motorists, thinking that they were entering a 40 zone, sped up and were caught by the machine.

The fake sign was quickly removed.

The pranksters have been labelled by highway chiefs and a member of the Bradford Council as irresponsible, and the joke itself dangerous.

One HGV driver, a resident in the area, commented, “Some evenings it's been like a strobe disco light. There have obviously been a lot of people who have been caught by it.

“Whoever has placed the sign there, it's a stupid thing to do. It costs time and effort for all those involved in the fines process.”

A spokesman for the Council stated, “Whoever put it up may think it was just a practical joke but it is actually crassly irresponsible.

“We lowered the limit to 30mph on Woodside Road because there had been 157 casualties on the A641 over three years. Encouraging people to drive faster than the speed limit may put lives at risk.”

Sadly, some people don’t think about the potential consequences of their actions – if they did there would probably be a greatly reduced number of accidents around the world.

Image by bicameral via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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In-car shenanigans should be kept off the road

According to a survey reported on by the Belfast Telegraph more of us argue in our cars than get amorous.

The survey, carried out by a car insurance comparison website, stated that, out of the 2,000 pollsters, 47.5% of men and close to 30% of women claim to have indulged in bedroom activities in their car, while nearly 63% of women and close to 60% of men admitted to having argued in their cars.

Frankly, I fail to see why this is a surprise to anyone – in fact, I am astonished that the figures for in-car amorousness are as high as they are and anyone who has not argued with their children or partner during a long car journey must be an automaton.

But, of course, the results are qualified by the use of the word claim and, naturally, not all of those questioned may have been totally truthful when confessing to arguing in their cars.

If we’re going to be totally devoid of humour, we should of course profess that unless the car is completely stationary and the engine is switched off either activity is extremely dangerous and has the potential to cause a car accident.

So, for the sake of road safety, we implore you – leave your anger in a lay-by and keep your ardour for….anywhere else really.

Happy driving!

Image © OakleyOriginals via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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Monday, May 16, 2011

 

Pippa Middleton madness

Ever since the royal wedding, news reports have been less about Kate and more about her sister Pippa.

Now, some of us might be deeply envious, and others might be wondering what all the fuss is about – but Miss Middleton’s behind has attracted more attention than potentially any other rear in British history.

Many men, and women, might have admired Pippa’s physique – but they’re likely not to have gone on about it too much in front of their partners.

However, one man clearly didn’t realise how second-rate he may have been making his girlfriend feel, and he’s paid dearly as a result of not being able to read the danger signals.

Photos emerged of the mystery man’s blue Peugeot 206 in Birmingham, with “Is Pippa’s bum still better than mine?” sprayed in white across the side of the vehicle.

One amused resident who saw the anger-fuelled graffiti said, “It looks like this guy has made the number one mistake of being way too honest.

“Everybody knows if your girlfriend asks you whether someone is more attractive than them, never say yes, even if it’s true.”

The man who managed to take the photograph of the Peugeot stated, “the driver wasn’t hanging around. He was shielding his face by the looks of it because everybody was pointing and laughing at him.”

Poor guy!

I wouldn’t say he deserved it or invited it even, but it’s fair to say that he could have avoided it with a simple lesson in Relationship Politics 101.

Image by movethelife via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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Monday, May 9, 2011

 

Grrls car insurance

CoverGirl could soon be offering car insurance for grrls as the online social network user term for a woman has been included in the latest edition of “Collins Official Scrabble Words”.

Alongside “thang”, “innit” and “Wiki” the term “grrl” is now deemed a legal scoring word in the spelling game and, as such, has been accepted into the language of Scrabble gamers.

According to netlingo.com the term grrl was one of the very first internet jargon usages to imply a specific meaning for online use.

A grrl is a female internet user (young or old) who uses e-zines, vanity pages and blogs to create an online identity and offer self-expression.

The tem was originally coined by feminists and female punk rockers who wished to “toy with the status quo”.

The term gained popularity through the growth of “Webgrrls” a technology support group for women introduced in 2000.

Now, the term refers to any woman who spends a lot of time online.

So come on ladies (or maybe that should be ladeez) get online and get your women’s car insurance from CoverGrrl – see what we did there?

image © Kables via Flickr under Creative Commons Licence

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Friday, May 6, 2011

 

Young women the driving force behind new music

For a list of women who are unlikely to lose any sleep worrying about their ability to find cheap car insurance for woman drivers, you need look no further than the latest instalment of the Sunday Times music millionaires list.

Yes, although the top ten places are still filled by men and the highest place women on the list are still up there beside their husbands – Victoria Beckham being one example – there are still plenty of women who have the kind of cash most of us can only ever dream about.

I was surprised that I’d never even heard of the highest placed woman on the list – Judy Cramer, creator of the stage show Mamma Mia!, and now reported to be worth £62 million, a figure which is actually down £18 million on her 2010 listing. I can only guess she must have been doing some serious shopping.

Unsurprisingly, the only other woman in the top 50 on her own right was camp pop princess, Kylie Minogue, who’s worth a mere £40 million.

The good news for women is that eight of the top ten young music millionaires are women – Katherine Jenkins, Cheryl Cole, Leona Lewis, Katie Melua and Joss Stone fill out the top 5 spaces.

Image by Shane Global Language Centres via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence

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